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Increasing Intimacy with Your Partner

Updated: Feb 16, 2021

CBD reduces stress and anxiety. When stress and anxiety are reduced, relationships are easier to manage. For me, the benefits of CBD supplementation include increased patience with others as well as increased libido. Both of which have benefited my marriage!

In spite of this, I am far from a relationship expert. Thankfully, my friend Melissa Bertoch with Purposeful Living, LLC is, and she graciously agreed to share some of her helpful knowledge!

With that, I will let her take it away. Thanks, Melissa!

-Heidi Tungesvick, 406 CBD, CEO


Increasing Intimacy with Your Partner

Intimacy can be defined in many different ways. No matter how you define it, most people agree that intimate relationships tend to be more fulfilling. Without them, we often feel lonely and isolated. Intimacy with our partner often tends to suffer when we are overly busy or living in crisis.

Interestingly enough, it’s during these times that we need connection to our partner the most.

Because we are exhausted emotionally and/or physically, we tend to seek out activities that allow us to disconnect from daily life. While binge-watching the latest show on Netflix may give us temporary relief, it often leaves us feeling less than satisfied. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when vegging out with your partner is the perfect thing to do. But, if you find yourself craving more intimacy and connection with your partner, perhaps it’s time to try something new!

We are living in a time where activities we used to engage in to connect with our partner are restricted.

Did you know that studies have shown that one of the easiest ways to connect to our partner is through communication and self-disclosure?

A simple conversation has the ability to strengthen your relationship in ways you may not have thought possible.

Simple Tips for Connecting with Your Partner

While it is easy enough to understand why we need intimacy and connection in our relationship, the thought of actually forming a connection may seem overwhelming. For many, anxiety takes over and connecting on a deeper level may seem impossible. Following these steps can help you increase intimacy with your partner:

  1. Watch your body - Be aware of your body language when speaking to your partner. Connecting isn’t just about the words you say. Pay attention to your tone. Is it warm and inviting? What are your facial expressions, hand gestures, posture, and body part placements telling your partner? Believe it or not, our body language can determine whether or not your partner feels comfortable opening up to you.

  2. Be vulnerable - When we do not practice vulnerability, we are unable to experience true intimacy. We often stick to safe topics so we don’t have to talk about uncomfortable subjects. This often leads to us having superficial relationships with our partner. It may even result in us having frequent conflicts. We often do this because we are fearful of what our partner may think of us. Let go of your fear. Share something deeply personal with your partner.

  3. Talk! - Take the time to get to know your partner again. Having frank discussions about your feelings, memories, goals, hopes, and dreams can create intimacy and connection. Try using this free intimacy building exercise to get you started!

  4. Listen! - It is impossible to connect to your partner if you fail to listen. Try asking open-ended questions and really listen to the response. Show you’ve heard what they are saying by repeating back what you understood them saying. But keep in mind, if you find yourself thinking about how you’re going to respond, you are not listening. You miss critical information when you aren’t paying attention to what your partner is saying (with their words and body language). Keep your mind open while you listen. The goal is to understand, not pass judgment. When we are genuine in our communications with our partner, they notice.

  5. Be a safe place - When your partner trusts you enough to tell you their deepest thoughts, don’t violate their trust by gossiping with others or complaining to friends. Whether your partner asked you to keep the information a secret or not, act as if it is a secret. The quickest way to destroy intimacy and connection is by telling a story that isn’t yours to tell.

  6. Be respectful - Avoid passing judgment, using sarcasm, or joking about the information shared with you. Taking an empathetic, open-minded approach can benefit both of you. It allows you to openly discuss your viewpoints, even if you disagree with one another. Your partner can help you see things in ways you hadn’t before if you are willing.

  7. Perform - an act of service together - Research shows that acts of service improves our overall sense of well-being and gives us a sense of purpose. Simple acts like cooking a meal for your neighbor, providing caregiver support to an ill family member or friend, or volunteering for a local non-profit organization can improve our connections with your partner and others.

Having someone we can share our troubles and joys with helps us feel a sense of connectedness. The intimacy we share with our partner can help us combat loneliness, depression, anxiety, and other negative health issues.


Melissa Bertoch

Melissa is a free-spirited relationship coach and founder of Purposeful Living LLC. She is devoted to helping couples strengthen their relationship through premarital and marriage enrichment services. Visit her website to find out more.


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